A Turkey Teaser
by thegreatbluespoon
Summary: Grissom wants to tell the group, Sara just wants to mess with them...GSR...WC suggested.
1. Dinner for all

"That's your plan? That's _seriously_ the _best_ you can do?"

"It's not really a plan, Sara. It's hard to plan something like this. We just… tell them."

She scoffed, "Why the hell are we even saying anything anyway, Grissom?"

"Because they're catching on."

"No they're not. They're all completely clueless."

"No, Sara, I think they know," he said.

"They who?"

"Greg."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, my God, Gil. The biggest conspiracy theorist that any of us know is Greg. There's no way in hell anyone is going to listen to him!"

"Once he brings it up and explains why he thinks we are together, they'll start to put things together and figure it out. Once they do figure it out, they'll all be pissed at us for not saying anything before now."

"Who the hell cares if they're pissed?"

"Sara, you and I both know how Catherine gets when it comes to things like this. You remember what she did to Warrick when he married Tina without telling anyone?"

"Okay, for one thing we are just dating, we aren't married-"

"Yet," he threw in.

"Sorry, yet." She smiled. "And second, the only reason that she was so pissed at Warrick was because she wants him so damn badly."

"Really?" he looked shocked.

Sara couldn't help but laugh. "Are you serious, Grissom?"

"Yeah, I didn't know that."

"Wow." She rolled her eyes.

"What?"

"Nothing," she said, trying to brush off the fact that Grissom was clueless. "Do we really need to tell them all? On Thanksgiving?"

"Nick will be mad if you don't."

"Nick doesn't get mad at me, Griss." She put her hand over his mouth to stop him from talking, "And before you try another guilt trip, Greg doesn't get mad at me either. Besides, even if they did get mad, they'd get over it in a heartbeat as soon as they got their invitations."

"Fine, forget Nick and Greg. Do you really want to deal with Catherine?"

"I can take her, you know," she grinned.

"Sara, you are _not_ going to beat anyone up," he sighed.

"It was a joke." She sighed, "Does this _really_ mean that much to you?"

"Yes, it does. I want to tell them when we are all together, away from work. What better time than Thanksgiving dinner? Wouldn't you rather they all hear it from us instead of, I don't know, Ecklie?"

"Ew, don't make me puke on my pancakes!" she laughed, then panic hit. "Wait, we're not inviting him are we?!"

"Oh, God no!" he swore. "Thanksgiving is supposed to be a happy, thankful time, not a…depressing time."

"Well…if Ickie Ecklie isn't coming…then fine…I guess."

"Really?"

"Not really presented with an abundance of options am I?"

He laughed, "Not really."

"So…what are you going to do?"

"No, Sara, what are _we_ going to do?"

"Oh, hell no. Grissom, telling them was your idea, not mine."

"Point being…"

She scoffed, "My point is that it was your idea. You just _have_ to tell them so everything is up to you."

"Fine you big baby…I'll tell them, but I don't know what to say."

"Well, Thanksgiving is in two days, we have all of the food and Nick and Greg are already coming over so backing out now is kinda out of the question, don't ya think?"

"Yeah, it is. Why is dinner at your apartment instead of here?"

"I think the boys would find it a bit weird, you inviting them to your house for Thanksgiving, Grissom."

"And takeout for such a day isn't weird? Why aren't they going home for Thanksgiving?"

"Time restraints," Sara answered. "We all have to work that night so there is no time to spend with family. Neither has a date and assumed that you didn't have one either so I invited you all over for dinner."

"Well, aren't you sweet," he joked.

"Damn straight. They weren't disappointed when I told them that you would be there. Greg actually said 'yay, Grissom' and it wasn't even sarcastic…that much anyway."

"So what about Catherine and Warrick?"

She shrugged, "I don't know, Griss."

"Sara, there is no way in hell I am doing this without Catherine. I don't want to fear going into work for the next two months."

"Understandable…uh, you talk to Catherine and I will invite Warrick and Tina."

"Invite Catherine to my place and then drive to yours?" He was confused.

"Yeah, that's stupid. Well, okay, I'll invite her over, but I really don't think she'll come."

"Why not? She likes you."

"No, her daughter likes me; Catherine tolerates me," Sara corrected.

"Sara, she likes you enough to take you up on her offer. Just invite them tonight at work and we will figure out the rest tomorrow."

"Fine. You really are a pain in the ass, you know."

"All the more reason for you to love me."

* * *

Short and crappy, I know, but I really wanted to start a holiday story. Hate me if you must... 

tbc…if you don't hate it that much, I promise it will get better.

thegreatbluespoon


	2. Oh Devious One

**Disclaimer: **I can't believe that I forgot to tell you all that I don't own one of the best shows on tv…it sucks, I know.

* * *

"I can't believe they all agreed to come to my tiny ass apartment for Thanksgiving. They really must think that I have no life." 

"You know, before I pulled my head out of my ass, that idea wasn't too far off the truth, Sara."

"Griss, I get it. I was a lonely nerd with no life."

"As was I, my dear, as was I. It's nice how certain things cancel each other out."

"Like morning breath," she said as she kissed him deeply.

"Exactly like morning breath," he smiled.

"Right…so did you figure out what you are going to say yet?"

"No idea," he shrugged.

"Grissom! Thanksgiving is tomorrow!"

"No, really?" he said quite sarcastically.

"Ha!" she smacked his arm and pushed him off the bed.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" he asked as he got up.

"Now that you are finally off of your ass, you can get to thinking about what to say."

"Could've been a bit nicer about that, Sara."

"With only one day left, I've no time to be nice," she laughed.

"Forget about what I'm going to say. First let's talk about appearance."

"Oh, I already know what I'm wearing."

"No, Sara," he laughed. "I mean am I showing up when everyone else does, or am I going to be here when they show up?"

"Why? Do you want to mess with them?" her face lit up.

"Um, why?"

"Because it'll be fun as hell, duh!"

"What exactly are you thinking, Sara?"

"Just subtle things, you know. It will mean that you won't have to plan something to say…"

"Well, if I don't have to say anything, then I am definitely okay with that."

"Oh, this is going to be _so_ much fun!" she practically squealed. She could hardly wait.

"What, exactly, do you have in mind, Oh Devious One?"

"Subtle things like a look or a touch," she shrugged. "I don't really know yet."

"So, exactly like we are around the lab. How is that messing with them?"

"More touching…standing close to each other the whole time or something, Griss. Just act like we do when they aren't around."

"So you're planning on having tons of sex in front of our friends?" he asked with a suggestive look on his face.

"As ridiculously fun as that sounds, Griss, no."

"Damn!"

"Whatever, we'll just figure it out as the day goes."

"You're evil, you know."

"And that's why you love me," she said with a kiss.

"Of course, that's the only reason," he joked.

She gave his arm a punch. "So funny. Anyway, what time is everyone coming? I want to make sure that they don't have to wait too long for food, but I still want plenty of time to mess with them all."

"Do you know how long it will take to do all of the food?"

"Hell, no, Griss. I've never made a Thanksgiving dinner before."

"Call and tell them to be here around one or two. That should give us a couple of hours to sit around."

--

"Perfect! They all said that they will be here a little after noon."

"Sara, you're having too much fun with this and we haven't even started yet."

"Griss, this is going to be the absolute _best_ Thanksgiving ever! Of course I'm already having fun. Aren't you?"

"I admit that it is going to be fun, but I don't want you to be too excited tomorrow. If you're freaking out then like you are now, you're going to make it too obvious to them."

"I'll calm down by then. It's just the thought of the looks on their faces, _especially _Catherine's." her eyes widened with excitement.

"This is going to kill Greg."

"I know it is. Poor guy really likes me." Her smile faded a little when she thought of it.

"He'll find someone eventually. I'm pretty sure that Judy likes him."

"_You _noticed_ that_?!" she said with surprise.

"What?"

"Grissom, you never even noticed that Catherine likes Warrick."

"Yeah, so?"

"You don't notice _them_, the most obvious thing in the whole world next to us, but you notice the _secretary's _crush?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yeah"

"You really, _really _suck at reading people, Grissom."

"Hey, I never claimed to be a people person." He put his hands up in defense for himself.

"Good, because it would have been a lie." She poked him.

"Ow… so am I going to be here when people show up or not?"

"I think it would be better if you were already here."

"Better for the plan, you mean?" he asked.

"Oh! You should answer the door!"

"Well, that will certainly throw them off." He smiled.

* * *

And now you go review...because you just love me! (Or because you feel bad for me. Pity works, too.) 

thegreatbluespoon


	3. Questioning Begins

**A/N: **I would like to thank everyone who has written a review for me. This is the most reviews I've gotten for a story I wrote. You should review the others! Reviews make my day! I've gotten a couple questions as to where Brass is going to be in this story. Truth is, I forgot him so let's, for the sake of this story, pretend that Ellie decided to stop being such a bitch for once in her drugged up life and Brass is having dinner with her.

* * *

Nick arrived first, bringing beer of course. Greg came shortly after bringing with him something Papa Olaf taught him to make. Warrick showed up about ten or so minutes later with deviled eggs and more beer. A delighted-at-the-sight-of-Warrick-with-no-Tina Catherine showed up ten or so minutes after he'd shown up. They were all a bit surprised that Grissom had been there first and that he was the one greeting them, but no one said anything. 

"Hey, Cath, where's Linds at?"

"Hey, Nicky. She is at a friend's house. She said that she didn't want to spend her day off from school with, and I quote, 'a bunch of lame adults doing nothing but talking about dead people.'"

"Oh…"

"That's what I thought. She does say 'hi' to all though."

"Well then tell her 'hi' back for me," he smiled and headed towards Greg in the kitchen.

"Will do, Nicky. So, Warrick…where might Tina be?"

"Hell if I know. She got pissed about something and took off this morning. Probably at her parent's house or something. I don't really care right now. I'm here to get stuffed and drunk with my friends," he told her.

"Well, good luck with that, Warrick." Catherine tried to hide her smile as she headed towards the kitchen where Sara and Grissom were standing an inch apart against the counter talking to Nick and Greg.

"You know, Sara, I never really pictured you as a good cook."

"I agree with Greg on that one. You always seemed like the type that could mess up a bowl of cereal. No offense," Nick grinned.

"None taken. You're both right, I can't cook to save my life. But this man…" she said while grabbing Grissom's chin and shaking his head. "This man here can cook."

"And you know this how Sara?" Catherine cut in.

"It's not the first time I've cooked for her Catherine," Grissom said all the while keeping his eyes on Sara. "I've cooked for you too and it wasn't that bad was it?" he asked rhetorically.

"Oh…well…okay then." she said slowly and looked at Nick and Greg who were both wearing the same expression on their faces.

Grissom saw the look and grinned, "Why don't you guys go back out there and watch tv or something and we'll try and finish this all up soon," he said while putting his hand _very_ low on Sara's back.

The looks on the other's faces increased in a cross between confusion and shock and they just mumbled as they walked back into the living room to join Warrick.

"Sara, you were right, this is going to be fun." He smiled and gave her a quick kiss.

--

"What _the hell_ was up with that?!" Nick asked, turning back to Catherine and Greg who just shrugged.

"What was up with what?" Warrick asked, confused.

"They were touching…and…she squeezed his face like, like an annoying aunt at a party. He just laughed at it."

"Yeah, Warrick. Sara was doing something with the food and he put his hand on her back, almost her ass," Greg said in disbelief.

"You three are crazy. You're imagining things…this is Grissom and Sara you're talking about. You know there is nothing going on there; they don't do things like that," Warrick reasoned.

Catherine shook her head, as if to free her mind of the ridiculous thought. "Warrick's right, we're reading too far into this."

"Yeah, besides guys, Sara still wants me," Greg grinned.

Nick cut in, "Greg, there's a better chance at Grissom killing a cockroach than there is of you and Sara _ever_ getting together."

"You know, Greggo, rumor has it that Judy likes you."

"Really?" he smiled then shook his head. "No, I'm sure she doesn't. Besides, I'm staying single for when Sara comes around," Greg said.

"What's Sara coming around to, Greg?" Grissom asked as he stepped into the living room.

"Grissom!" Greg jumped slightly. "Kinda…snuck up…on me there," he laughed nervously.

"Sorry, Greg," Grissom said. "What were you just saying about Sara?"

"I was just telling these guys about how she is finally starting to see the light at the end of the love tunnel. She's falling for me." he wiggled his eyebrows at Sara as she entered the room with them all.

"The love tunnel? Oh, yeah, Greg, I can hardly keep myself from jumping your bones right here in my living room," she laughed hard.

"Told you guys!" Greg said as he started to walk over to Sara but was cut short when Grissom stepped in front of him.

"And just where are you going Greg?" he asked.

"I'm going to stand next to my woman. Now if you'll excuse me…" he tried stepping around Grissom, but he moved with Greg.

"You're woman, Greg?" Grissom raised an eyebrow at him.

"Down, Grissom. You guys, the food is ready, so everyone to the kitchen," Sara said as she motioned to the kitchen.

"You know Sara just saved your life, Greg." Warrick said as he slapped him on the back on their way to the kitchen.

"I'm not anyone's woman, Greg. I don't belong to someone," Sara smirked.

"Especially not you." Grissom patted him on the back like Warrick, except a little harder.

"Sorry, Sara," Greg said while making his way into the kitchen, keeping his eyes on the floor.

--

Everyone was in the kitchen getting their food and drinks when Nick nudged Catherine. She looked at what he was nodding towards and confusion hit them again. Grissom and Sara, like the rest of the day so far, were mere inches away from the other and were helping each other with their plates. This didn't go unnoticed by Greg and Warrick either. No one said anything though, they just shrugged it off. It wasn't unusual for Sara and Grissom to have moments of civility between them. This, in their minds, was just another of those moments.

Everyone went to take their seats at Sara's table and laughed as Greg tried so desperately to get a seat next to Sara, only to find it occupied by the one and only Bugman. Greg slowly was around the table and to the last seat, between Nick and Warrick. Catherine, of course, had managed to seat herself next to Warrick. It was amazing how her chair had somehow scooted itself closer to his.

The dinner was going great. Anytime someone needed something, Sara and Grissom both had to go get it, causing looks to be passed back and forth by the rest of the company at the table.

Nick was out of beer and announced that he was going to go get another, but Grissom stopped him. He went to get Nick's beer and Sara stayed behind. She and Grissom knew that there were some questions their guests were dying to ask, though they weren't going to get the real answers just yet.

"Sara, can I ask you something?" Catherine, naturally, was the first to speak in the absence of Grissom.

"Sure, Cath," Sara smiled.

"Okay…what the hell is going on?"

Sara put on her best confused look, "What do you mean?"

Nick cut in, "Oh, cut the crap, Sara! You and Grissom, what's the deal?"

"I second that question," Greg said.

"Third," Warrick chimed in.

"The deal is the same as it has always been. We're friends, what's to tell?"

Catherine was a little angry. She knew something was different. "Well, I'm friends with Nick, but I didn't help fix his plate. I don't get up every time he does. I don't stand an immeasurable distance from him and act like it's nothing!"

"You guys are over reacting. You know Grissom isn't interested in me that way." Sara rolled her eyes and the room fell into silence when Grissom came back with a beer for everyone.

"A bit quiet in here…you guys talking about me?" Grissom joked.

"Of course not, Gil. We never talk about you," Sara said and gave his arm a playful slap.

"_Gil_?" Warrick whispered to Catherine. "Since when does _she_ call _him_ Gil?"

"Since never," Catherine whispered back.

"What the hell is going on here?"

"Warrick, I have no idea!" Catherine whispered harshly, getting more and more angry as the dinner went by.

* * *

Okay, this was short and the ending blows, but I really think you will like the next chapter. 

Have fun reviewing.

thegreatbluespoon


	4. Subject Change

Alrighty then…where, oh where did we leave off? Oh, yes! We have Grissom and Sara messing with the rest of the 'group' in Sara's apartment over Thanksgiving dinner. Catherine is getting pissed because she doesn't know what the hell is going on and normally she is the first to know. She is also pining over Warrick who is at this little shindig without out wifey because…well, because I didn't want her to be there. Nick is there with beer and his damn sexy good looks (tell me George Eads is not just damn fine!). Greg (also not ugly) is there with more alcohol and some type of food item that Papa Olaf taught him to make. Back to the story…

* * *

"And just what are you two whispering about down there?" Grissom asked. 

Catherine and Warrick were too busy talking to pay attention to Grissom though.

"What do you mean 'you don't know'? You're Catherine! That means you know _everything_!"

"Normally I do, Warrick, but this is just…just screwed!"

"Uh, hello? Are you two going to be joining us anytime?" Grissom tried again.

"What, Gil?!" Catherine snapped.

"I was just wondering if we could join the conversation perhaps. Sorry to have interrupted, Catherine," Grissom said with a smart grin.

"Sorry, Gil. We were just talking about…"

"Tina," Warrick supplied.

"Yeah, we were talking about Tina." Catherine scowled at the mention of her name.

"Great, well how is she doing, Warrick?" Sara chimed in.

"Well, like I said earlier-"

Catherine cut in, "Subject change! How about we _all_ talk about something that we _all_ care about?" Ignoring the looks that she got from everyone, she continued, "Greg, what exactly are we putting in our mouths when we eat…whatever the hell it is that you brought?"

With that being the unanimous question from around the table, Greg replied, "Well, I really don't think that Papa Olaf would appreciate it too much if I were to give out that kind of delicate family information."

"Greg, what if one of us is allergic to something in…whatever it is?" Grissom asked.

"Grissom, you aren't even eating any of it." Greg pointed out.

Grissom turned to Sara who had some of…whatever the hell it was, on her plate. "Sara, do you mind?"

"Oh, not at all Griss!" She smiled and got a forkful of…it. She held…it out to him over a cupped hand. The others expected him to take the fork from her, but hell no. She fed…it to him! Around the table four jaws dropped as Sara withdrew her fork tantalizingly from his mouth with a grin on her face and as Grissom chewed with a grin of the same flirtatious magnitude on his face.

"Thank you, Sara. That _is_ pretty good," he smiled at her. "I think I'll go get some for my self." He stood up to leave.

"I'll come with. I need to get some more since you just ate half of mine." She winked at him and they left the room.

"What the HELL was that?!?" Greg said first. "She…did…she winked at him!"

"I know, Greg, I know" Nick patted him on the back. "So much for your tunnel of love."

"Nick, this is not the time for joking! What the hell is going on here?" Warrick turned to Catherine.

"Like I already said, Warrick, I don't know! By and large I am the first to know anything, especially when it comes to relationships, but I know nothing about this. I know that they both like each other but, hell, who doesn't. It's only the most obvious thing in the whole damn lab!"

"Second most obvious, Catherine," Greg said as he looked between her and Warrick.

"Just what the hell is that supposed to mean, Greg?" she asked as she gave him the evil eye.

"Nothing, that meant nothing. Just ignore me," he laughed nervously.

"Anyway," Catherine started again. "We seriously need to figure out what the hell is going on here. There _has _to be something going on between those two. Good Lord they've been in that kitchen now for, like, six minutes. It doesn't take that long to load up on…whatever the hell that stuff is. Greg, does that stuff even have a name?"

"Yeah. It's called-"

"Whatever, man," Nick cut in. "Catherine, what are we going to do, just outright ask Grissom? If that didn't work on Sara, it sure as hell ain't gonna work on Captain Stoic in there."

"Cath, Nicky's right. It's damn obvious that something funky is goin down and there is no way they're gonna tell us so we need to play back at their whack ass game." Warrick chimed in.

'_That's my man. All smart and stuff.'_

"Cath?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Just don't act bothered by whatever it is that they do. Ignore it, no matter how messed up it is," she said.

"What if they, like, start making out in front of us or something? Are you telling me that you guys are going to sit here and act unaffected by a sight like _that_?" Greg pretended to gag.

"Ew, Greg, seriously," Nick joined in the fake gag.

"Alright, boys, enough. We at least know them better than that."

"I hope," Warrick added.

"Are they really going out?"

"I don't know, Greg. Sara's been after him since she got here. They have a pretty long history together, no matter how rocky at times. I can tell when he talks about her that he really, really cares about her, you know. Almost like he loves her," Catherine said.

"Yeah and I have a kitten that poops rainbows. Grissom doesn't_ love_ people- physically impossible," Greg added with a scoff.

Nick punched Greg and agreed with Catherine. Warrick chimed in, "Look, I personally find it a little creepy, but hey, to each their own right? If it keeps Grissom off my ass-"

"And on Sara's," Greg cut in laughing until Nick punched him again.

"Anyway, Greg, if it keeps him off my _case_ and she is happy, and not all depressed like she used to be, then more power to 'em. Besides, anything that pisses off Ecklie, and you _know_ this will, pretty much makes my day."

"Mine too," Catherine said looking at her watch. "Twelve minutes for a plateful of goop?"

"A kitten that poops rainbows…how much do you think that would be worth?" Greg asked.

--

"You think we've been gone long enough?" Grissom asked.

"Well, you know Catherine is in there timing us all while thinking of Warrick. Nick has probably hit Greg at least three times by now. Greg has had at least one impure thought about me…wait, how long have we been gone?"

"Twelve, going on thirteen minutes," he said, looking at the clock on her wall.

"Make that two impure thought about me. Dirty enough to make the devil blush you know," she laughed.

"And how do you know this?"

"Oh, my God, Gil! He told me one!" she blushed.

"Really?"

"You interested?"

"My interest has been peaked by the blushing devil, yes."

She leaned over to whisper into his ear. Even having been together for as long as they had been, this was still embarrassing to say aloud. Had someone else been in the room though, they would have heard small bits about banana, strawberry and mango flavored lubes, chocolate sprinkles, rubber ducks, a completely hairless Greg, candles, whips, a fuzzy steering wheel cover, a blow up sheep, and a gallon of Captain Morgan. Grissom's face was growing in shock and at the mention of some ideas, a little consideration, as Sara continued her tale of complete filth as had been told by potty-mouth Greg. There were mentionings of a baby chicken, syrup (maple and chocolate, of course) handcuffs, false teeth, a nativity scene, and an inner tube as well.

"Oh…my…God…"

"I know," she sighed. "I know."

"When the hell did he tell you this?" Grissom asked in almost terror.

"Um, yesterday actually."

His eyes went wide and his mouth opened a little.

"What, Gil?"

"I…seriously?"

"Yeah," she said slowly. "I hear at least one tale of horror a week since I've been here."

"Oh, that kid is on the next five decomps!" he laughed as he gave her a quick kiss and headed back out to the dining room followed shortly by Sara.

"Nice of you two to join us again," Catherine said with a smirk.

"I dropped my plate. Grissom was just helping me," Sara explained.

"Yeah," Greg said in a non-believing voice.

"So, what did you kids talk about while we were gone? Anyone find out what was in Greg's…whatever the hell it is?" Grissom asks.

"Grissom, there is nothing in there that is going to kill any of you," Greg said.

"How do you know, Greg?" Nick asked. Catherine probably would have been the first to ask, but she was a little busy staring at the man candy sitting next to her.

"I _may_ have _accidentally_ checked out some personnel files."

"How might one _accidentally _check out a file, Greg?" Grissom asked.

"Very easily. But on to another subject…Nick, how are you and Mandy doing?"

"Great. Catherine, any new man in your life yet?"

Catherine wasn't paying attention to Nick. How could she be, Warrick was…well, he wasn't doing anything but sitting there, but really, that's all he had to do for her.

"Catherine?"

She snapped out of it. "Huh?"

"You okay?"

"Uh, yeah. I think the beer is getting to me. I'm fine though. What did you say was in this stuff, Greg?"

"Papa Olaf wouldn't want me to tell anyone. It's a family thing, you know, a secret."

Grissom smiled, "Ah, yes, Greg. A secret. I know a lot about secrets."

Greg just looked at him with a confused look on his face while the others started up their own conversations.

"Lube, sprinkles, and a nativity scene, Greg?"

Greg looked at Sara in sheer terror as she busted out in laughter at his discomfort. Sara's laughter got everyone's attention drawn to herself, Grissom and Greg.

"What's so funny down there?" Warrick asked.

"Nothing!" Greg answered quickly. "Nothing is so funny down here!" he looked at Sara and Grissom with pleading eyes.

"Nothing is funny. I was just thinking of something from a couple of weeks ago. Don't worry about it, guys. Sorry." Sara slowly calmed down.

Everyone went back to their conversations and eating. Greg couldn't make eye contact with Grissom for fear of, well, life in general. He couldn't look at make eye contact with Sara for fear of the thought about the lube, sprinkles and nativity scene coming back to him. Eventually Catherine stopped talking to Nick and snickered.

"Um, Sara…you got a little…" she said and motioned at the corner of her mouth as if she were wiping something off.

Sara quickly caught on and wiped at the corner of her mouth. "Did I get it?" she asked.

"No, dear. Here, I'll do it," Grissom cut in and he did. He took his thumb and wiped off some of Greg's…whatever the hell it is. But…did he wipe it on a napkin? Hell no, Grissom licked it off and he and Sara went right back to eating like it was nothing out of the ordinary.

No one else moved. What the hell had just happened? Did that seriously just happen? Did Gil Grissom just wipe food from Sara Sidle's mouth with his finger and lick it off? That did just happen? Okay, I thought perhaps it was just me hallucinating or something.

That was it. Yes, Catherine had said to act unaffected by whatever they did but come on!

"Excuse me. You two want to tell us just what in the _hell_ is going on here?!" she nearly yelled.

Sara and Grissom casually looked up from their plates and placed their best confused looks on.

"Don't play that confused crap on us! We know better than that. What is the deal with you? We have been watching you all night!"

Sara was having too much fun with diner. She didn't want it to be over yet. Better change the subject then.

She cut in with "So, Catherine, what's this I hear about you screwing Warrick?"

* * *

The next shall be the last! I hope you liked this one! 

thegreatbluespoon


	5. Evil & her Boyfriend of the Year

Liz100193, jp5412, Maisy13, crashcart, anniehiltner, EmyTheGreat, maricejayo, BonnieAW, KewlKid, nick fan, LielieS, MYSTICAL PANTHER, Print Dust, Jenny70529, odeepblue, luv0817, Hamlets-pirate, anniehiltner, Melody, sara fan, Chione of the Nile, stareagle, csiluver123, Mingsmommy, luv0817, ScienceStar, littlemissliketofight, Paige Halliwell-Matthews, ma-name-is-nikki, CHRISCARTER, Tadpole24 (Em, you rock and we all know math is the devil!), Invisible Evidence (Rosie, the Spork shall one day fall!), jordanx3greggo (oh, Jersey, what can I say?!)----I would like to thank you all! If it weren't for the constant kicks in the ass, I never would've went through with anything past chapter one. The reviews were great and kept me laughing!

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Pure shock- no, horror crossed Catherine's face as the words left Sara's mouth. Grissom simply gave Sara's knee a squeeze under the table in a feeble and unsuccessful attempt to keep from laughing his ass off. Warrick's fork stopped halfway to his mouth that now hung open wide enough to put the Grand Canyon to shame. Nick spit his mouthful of beer out in the classic comical way and turned to pat Greg hard on the back a couple of times since he was choking a bit on his food. Sara hid a cringe at the most ignorant question she could have come up with to sit with a decently blank look on her face as though the question were asked as simply as 'How are you today Catherine?'

Nick wiped his mouth, Grissom stopped laughing and Greg stopped coughing, but Catherine and Warrick remained as they were. Sara, seeing that she wasn't going to get a response soon, not that she was really expecting one anyway, turned to Greg. "Are you going to be alright, Greg?" she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Uh…" was all he could gasp out. Even though he wasn't still choking, it didn't mean he wasn't still in shock from that question. Everyone knew that Sara was a –how do you say it- ballsy person, but _damn_ what a question! He looked at Catherine and at Warrick. Both had eyes as big as the plates that held their food and neither had looked at each other –understandable of course. Neither had said anything so far, kind of hard to say anything when your jaw is sitting on the table in front of you.

"You still choking?" she asked.

"I…uh…what?" he honestly had no idea what was going on. Thanksgiving Day for Greg had been completely screwed so far. Maybe he should just be quiet, not that he could complete a sentence right now anyway.

"Greg?"

"F- I…f-fine," he stumbled, but got it out finally.

Nick leaned over to Catherine and whispered since Warrick was on the other side of her "Catherine? Catherine you….you should really consider closing your mouth. I know you were mid sentence and everything but you still got a bit of food in your mouth. I just thought with Warrick and everything…embarrassing or whatever..." he drifted off near the end.

Catherine snapped out of her horror induced shock, "What did you just say?"

"You got a bit of food in yo-"

"No, Nick! What the hell did _you_ just say?!" Catherine yelled pointing at Sara, succeeding in finally snapping Warrick out of his state of astonishment.

"I…well, I…Grissom?" Sara turned towards Grissom in a silent search of some help. In all of her brilliance, out of everything floating around in her head at that particular moment in time, why in the hell was _that_ the one dazzling thing that just came a-flowin' right out of her mouth?

Grissom stared at her vacantly. Just what the hell was he supposed to do?! Sure a good man should defend his fiancée but hey, she just dug a big ass conversation death-hole all by herself. He didn't even hand her the shovel to dig with, so why the hell was she turning to him for help against Catherine Willows, the one woman besides Sara that he truly feared?

'_Oh Sweet Jesus, what did she just do?…Fear going to work…fear coming home from work…You had better weigh your options, old man, and you had better weigh them carefully. You might be fifty, but that is still too young to die. Getting married to the woman you love, getting castrated in your sleep by the woman you love. Keeping one of the best friends you have ever had, getting castrated by one of the best friends you have ever had. Dear God…well, at fifty, kids aren't really a realistic option. Wait! What the hell are you thinking man?! That's your…stuff you're talking about! Don't do that! Shit, they're all looking at you now…You need to say something Gil.'_ He thought. "I _really_ liked your casserole…dish…thing, Greg. I'm going to go get more. Anyone else?" He asked quickly and, leaving no time for anyone to answer, practically ran to the kitchen to hide from, well, anyone. "Well, if Sara wasn't going to kill you before…" he said aloud.

--

"Well, Sara?" Catherine asked.

"I…" Sara stopped to think for a minute. '_Bastard! Okay…"What's this I hear about you screwing Warrick?" Good Lord how ignorant was that?! Um…what sounds like that? Brilliant name 'Warrick'! What the hell rhymes with that? Compliment weight, you like it, so does she…be creative.'_ Sara smiled, "I said 'Catherine, for what I see you eat, you look good for it.'" Sara sighed, it sounded nothing like what she had really said.

"That's it? That's _seriously_ the _best_ you can do?" Catherine snorted.

Sara smirked a bit, remembering her comment to Grissom about his 'plan' to tell the group. Oh, how she regrets mocking him right now. '_Where is that son of-'_

Catherine cut her off from her thoughts, "You had better go in there and get Grissom and get right back in here, Little Miss Fake-Compliments-To-Save-My-Ass. Go!" she said and pointed towards the kitchen grinning from ear to ear. '_I win you sneaky bastards…'_

Sara stood up in mock anger and headed off to the kitchen. When she got there, a bit of real anger took over.

Catherine avoided eye contact with Warrick at all costs. This didn't bother him one bit because he was doing the exact same with her. "Greg, are you really going to be okay?"

"I think I'll be fine, Cath, thanks. Nick…uh, yeah," he said and gave him a small pat on the back and a smile.

Nick smiled back, "So, Greg, about Sara?"

"Not now, please," he said holding up his hand. "Right now my throat hurts."

"Well, at least now we get to find out just what in the hell is going on," Warrick reasoned.

"Yeah, at my expense," Catherine blurted out.

"Your expense?" Warrick questioned. "I believe I was mentioned as well."

"I…well I don't seem to recall that," she said quickly and took a _very_ long swig of her beer, followed by a couple of quick drinks to finish off the bottle.

"Something about you screwing me," Warrick said with raised eyebrows, seemingly in interest.

Nick and Greg didn't know what to do. If they get up, they're gonna get yelled at to sit back down to wait for Grissom and Sara. They certainly don't want to wait around for whatever is going on between Warrick and Catherine though. They just sat there, not wanting to piss off Catherine. Only one thing worse than a pissed Sara - a pissed Catherine and a pissed Sara.

"Is _that_ what Sara said?" Catherine asked with mock innocence.

"I don't think you would have had the reaction you did if you had heard different, Catherine."

"Where are those two at?" Catherine asked quickly.

--

After entering the kitchen Sara walked over and slapped Grissom on the arm…hard.

"What the hell, Gil?"

"OW!"

She slapped him again, "I _cannot_ believe you!"

"OW!!"

"Seriously, what the hell was that in there?!" she slapped him again.

"OWW!!" he rubbed his arm. "If you're gonna keep hitting me, can you hit a different spot? Damn!"

She hit the same spot. "Way to play defense, you jackass!"

"It's Catherine!" he tried to reason.

She slapped him yet again and pointed to herself, "Hello, remember me, your fiancée?"

"Sara, I was going to get my ass kicked either way and you know it."

"Whatever." She slapped the same arm.

"Ow! You couldn't have just answered the woman's question?'

"You could've stepped in! You knew I was having too much fun to stop!"

"Hey, _EVIL_, you could've just let me announce it," he grinned.

"With a nonexistent speech!" she laughed.

"This whole thing was your idea!"

"Gil Grissom, you know better than to let me plan things. Everything I plan turns into something gross or something evil." She pointed at him.

"Yeah, well…"

"Oh, 'yeah well' nothing! We have to go back in there! Did you hear what I said to that woman?!"

"Of course I heard what you said! Why do you think I got the hell out of there?"

"You could've helped me!" she yelled.

"Did _you_ hear what you said to that woman, Sara? Nothing anyone did or said after that was going to help you," he laughed.

"It wasn't even the first thing in my mind to say. Seriously! I had a million other things to say but the single most ignorant thing that could've come out, did," she sighed.

"I'm going to be late coming home tonight, Sara."

"What?" she looked confused.

"She's gonna try and kick your ass for saying that in front of Warrick."

"Try," she smiled. "Come on Boyfriend of the Year, let's go. Impending doom awaits us."

"Can I have a kiss first?" he smiled suggestively at her.

She leaned in like she was going to give him a kiss but instead, she hit his arm in the same spot as before. "You want a kiss? Your ass better earn it!" and she walked away from a groaning Grissom following close behind, rubbing his arm.

"Sara kick your ass, Gil?" Catherine asked.

"Uh, we have something to tell you guys," Grissom said, but only after Sara kicked him.

A bunch of mock gasps and 'no's came from around the table.

"Yeah, yeah," Sara said and waived her hand in the air.

"Sara and I are dating," Grissom said with a smile.

"Well, who in their right mind would have thought that?" Nick asked mockingly.

Warrick was next. "You two are not nice people, you know!" he laughed.

"Before I say this," Catherine started, "shut up Sara, but I agree with Warrick. This wasn't nice. You could've just told us."

Grissom pointed to Sara, "I wanted to, this was all her!"

She punched him in his arm again.

"Other arm, Sara, please!" he whined.

Greg finally chimed in, "So, Sara, any chance of you leaving him for me?" waggled his eyebrows at her.

"Um, there's something else to tell you guys," Sara said, nudging Grissom.

Grissom went to speak but Greg cut in. "Holy crap! _They have sex_! Sara's pregnant! You've been drinking all night! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Greg, I'm _not _pregnant!" Sara exclaimed.

"No!" Grissom yelled right along with her.

"What then?" Nick asked.

Sara took her ring out of her pocket and put it on her finger.

Catherine's eyes got big again, "You two are seriously engaged?!"

"Yes, Catherine," Sara said, walking over to show her the ring.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously, Catherine."

"Well, I'd make you swear on a stack of bibles, but I know how contact with holy things burns the skin of the truly evil, Sara. And you have good skin, so I won't make you." She smiled.

"Well, thank God for that," Sara smiled back.

--

Everyone, including a slightly gloomy Greg, congratulated Grissom and Sara and thanked them for dinner before heading for the door. Warrick offer Catherine a ride home and at the looks he received offered up the classic explanation that he had less to drink than she had so it would be better for him to drive. They all started to say their final good-byes, but Greg seemed lost in thought.

"Hey, you alright, Greg?" Sara asked.

"Um, yeah,"

"You sure?" she smiled.

"Anyone got Judy's number?" he smiled back.

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I started writing this at 2:19am and finished at 5:14am. Can you tell?! Once again, you guys rock!

Please go review now. It'll brighten my day, and you _know_ you want to do that!

thegreatbluespoon


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